So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
