I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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