Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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