I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
