i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
