maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
