Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
