Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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