he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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