You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
