That's when you crack a 10am beer
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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