the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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