I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
