I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
