is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
