these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize