i don't like sucking hair
Me too!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
