am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
