I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
