But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
