I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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