having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
