thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
