im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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