He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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