she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
