OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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