I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize