3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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