I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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