youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
