he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
