Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
