R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize