I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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