Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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