woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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