so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize