some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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