Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
