is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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