Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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