dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
