Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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