ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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