Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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