so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize