just come out here and I will go home with you...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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