Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize