I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
