We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it was like his penis was on wheels.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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