I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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