Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize