Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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