Non-Jews are for practice
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
