just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
