she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Green mimosas i think yes
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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