I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
