Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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