how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
