Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
